I’ll be completely honest, I struggled to discover my “why not/s?” After Carson passed, I felt— weak. Before then, I was excited for the new year. Days into 2024, I was dwelling on new friends; David & Kendall. A new living situation; maybe with Carson. New hobbies; pickleball, rock climbing. New trips; Hawaii. I was excited for new memories. A newfound depth in a brotherly relationship with Jesus. And I didn’t consider my brotherly relationship with Carson would pause before then. Quite the opposite actually, I assumed Carson would be included in many of these new experiences. Excitement turned to desperation, fearing grief could overtake my life. I believe it was only through such weakness that the Lord was able in such equal measure to strengthen me. Nothing in this world could comfort me or change the circumstances. My only hope was my Father in heaven. So my every next thought was directed to Him. But even my thoughts were seemingly just attempts. What do I think? What do I do? Where do I go? Why? How will everything be made for my good? For Carson’s good? The Lord answered my questions in perfect timing, & He still has so much more to say, so that we might know Him more.
There was a joy I found in knowing Carson. And now, after having known Carson, it has made for me a beautiful picture of the joy in knowing the Lord. I want to be made more like Carson in the ways he was made like the Lord. I want to be excited! I want a pure heart to see Him! I want to overcome sin! I want to want what is pleasing to my Father in heaven. These have not always been desires of mine, so in light of such transformation, all credit leaves me & I’m encouraged to say, why not?
I am determined to see my life to the end as a marathon race, with a strong finish. Carson always encouraged me in pursuit of the truth, & after having come to it, my “why not?” has simply become to know the Lord more.
Michael Gallo
